


You Must Be Fine

by Carnivorous_Comma



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Abuse, Coffee Dad Sakura Sojiro, Dissociation, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Interrogation, Needles, Post Twist, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers, Trauma, im taggin my best, joker needs a hug, no fun, we come here to cry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-08 23:42:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27174697
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Carnivorous_Comma/pseuds/Carnivorous_Comma
Summary: After escaping police custody and faking his death Akira is more affected by the experience than anyone thought. A routine examination by Takemi draws to the surface all those things he'd tried to bury. He's supposed to be the leader, isn't he?
Comments: 1
Kudos: 38





	You Must Be Fine

I’m in my bed, I can feel the familiar warm pressure of Morgana curled up on the blanket. Everything was fine. Everything was supposed to be fine now. I couldn’t stop thinking about it. I wanted to, it was no big deal. The others had brushed it off, a successful plan. Everything had gone perfectly to plan, then why did I feel so weird? I gingerly wiggled from under Morgana who murmured contentedly in his sleep. He had fallen asleep forever ago it seems. I slipped out of bed glancing at my phone.2:45? Morgana would have fit knowing I’d stayed up that long. I walked quietly down the stairs into the darkened cafe. We’d all been in this room a few hours earlier, the room full of sound and light. Now it was dark, just the occasional drip from the faucet the city sounds seeming distant. I idly filled a glass of water. I wasn’t really thirsty, my mouth was dry, but I wasn’t thirsty. I went for a sip and nearly choked on the acrid flavor spitting it back into the sink. Had the tap at Leblanc always been so disgusting? I poured the contents back out that strange taste on my tongue still. It was the familiar taste of blood and something else. 

I walked over to the bathroom scrubbing my face with water to try and clear away this feeling that somehow stuck to my skin. Looking at myself there, I looked horrible. Hair was a mess and there were big purple bruises tinged green at the edges across my face. I could still feel the boot on my face wrists bitten by handcuffs. The metaverse could be rough but I had never come out of it looking like this. This wasn’t the wounds of metaphysical manifestations this was what man did to fellow man. The rest of my body ached as well, the pieces of me hidden from the eye where I’d been kicked and punched, all with my hands tied, defenseless. 

But it was fine it had been part of the plan, even when I’d forgotten the plan, when I’d been full of drugs and hadn’t remembered that I’d volunteered to be there. It had certainly felt less like a stroke of genius, a part of a grand ploy, during those hours. But it was fine now, I would see Takemi and have my wounds treated like always and I’d get better. To prepare for the fight we still had before us, I needed to go back to bed.

* * *

Takemi was one of my closest friends, I’d met her early on during my time in Tokyo and I remember fondly her strange personality suiting my needs until I learned more about her and wanted to spend time to help her instead. She checked me out after the interrogation with a sharp look but no questions, she probably knew what had happened, especially if she’d been watching the news. 

“Good to see you, guinea pig.” She said simply gesturing me into her exam room.

She carefully examined my wounds remarking on a bruised rib and advising rest and treating and bandaging a few open scrapes. She turned about to take blood like she usually did a gleaming needle shining in her hands. With none of a phantom thief’s grace I pushed her away staggering backwards the door to the exam room firmly behind me.

My heart started hammering so suddenly my thoughts consumed in those needles. So many needles scattered across the floor littering the place with no regard. My head fuzzy and indistinct as these adults these grown men demand answers, quickly taking to violence when their words aren’t instantly heeded. When I didn’t answer there was another needle. 

I felt something touch me and jerked away, I wanted to run away but the door was locked wasn’t it? More so called police officers on the other side. There was no escape. I slid across the wall away until I’d planted myself in the corner. At least they couldn’t grab me from behind, wrench me around by my bound hands and toss me on the floor. Maybe I could defend myself even a little here in this corner. I waited, the silence agonizing as no one approached no one. Had they left? Left me alone in this tiny room who knows how far underground just a dark suffocating box. I heard the door open and cringed away, no they were back again. How had I thought it was more terrifying to be alone? I tried to pull away further to melt into the wall even as my legs felt like water trembling beneath me. This was the real world, the place where I was weak, normal, just an inconvenience for adults to dispose of at their leisure. They’d left me alone and I’d dug back in, searching for some kind of justice, some kind of vengeance. I’d thought to create a battlefield where we could stand as equals and had forgotten that as long reality existed still, I would remain that weak kid unable to do anything against powerful adults.

A voice numbly came to my ears. “I don’t know.” I couldn’t remember not after everything. I was half glad I was sure I would’ve told them if I’d known. All my friends' reliance on me would be useless, I was going to fail them.

“Hey, kid.” 

I flinched at the voice so close to me sure that it wouldn’t stay passive for much longer.

“Akira.” 

How much softer than usual.

I had told them my name but why were they saying it so gently.

“Akira, it’s me Sojiro.”

Sojiro? Sojiro was here? Had I gotten the old man in trouble through my actions? Was he here as some sort of hostage?

“Hey kid, it's okay, you’re safe. I’m right here.”

Safe. I can see Sojiro’s hands held delicately aloft as if in. Surrender a few paces away. The room bends and its the examination room of Tae Takemi’s clinic. I can see her in the doorway, she looks distressed. Is she okay? My gaze snaps back to Sojiro as he shuffles incrementally forward.

“Akira, can you hear me?”

My voice quivered in my throat before I gave a nod. 

“Do you know where you are?”

The clinic, yes of course, but moments ago I’d…

I nodded again, locking my jaw cause I really felt like any moment I could start screaming as adrenaline shot recklessly through my limbs and bubbled in my gut. 

“We’re at Takemi’s clinic, right?”

I nodded again.

“And you’re safe here. Takemi would never hurt you, right?”

Yes of course she wouldn’t but those men would, they had already.

Another nod.

“Can you take my hand?” He gently offered up his hand, his creased palm and coffee stained fingers reminded me of home. I tried to take his hand, holding tightly even as it felt like that touch was burning. He gently again pulled me forward out of the corner I’d sequestered myself in. It hurt, each step made my body scream to go back to hide, but this was Sojiro, one of the few adults I trusted. I believed in him. In a painstakingly slow process he guided me out of the room and out into the lobby. I searched it for any signs of life, the room was empty as it often was.

“Here, sit down right here.” He indicated that hard waiting room sofa and I slowly sat down. He sat down beside me and that burning touch suddenly felt like an anchor I couldn’t let go of. As he began to gently pull his fingers away I tightened my grip on them shaking my head, doing my best not to scream.

“Hey hey hey,” He murmured back to me. “I’m not going anywhere, you wanna hold on that’s just fine.” He smiled that Sojiro smile, the one often tinged in smugness. That grin that brought with it lightness and warmth. Like sweet coffee.

“Takemi’s coming in the room.” He informed me and I watched the door as she slowly entered skirting around me before standing next to Sojiro. She had the same sad look on her face it was strange when she so often kept her emotions away from her expressions.

“Takemi, he’s alright?”

“Physically yes, he doesn’t appear to be in any danger.”

“Then this is-?”

“A psychological reaction of some kind, has he been under any intensely stressful situations.” She asked but there was a tone in her voice like she already suspected the answer.

“Ah.” Sojiro replied, still holding my hand and looking at me carefully.

“Can you tell me what happened Akira?” 

I couldn’t, I wasn’t sure what was still happening, I couldn’t open my mouth, if I did I’d never be able to close it. I couldn’t shake my head but he took my silence as an answer.

“And you didn’t do anything Takemi?”

“Didn’t get the chance to, I checked his injuries like I normally would and he was fine. It was  _ after  _ that he had this reaction.

She seemed to purposely be leaving something out and Sojiro nodded but his face was quirked like he didn’t completely understand.

“Do you need anything? Are you thirsty? Hungry?”

I tried to shake my head but it didn’t really move. My body was suddenly feeling very stiff.

“Do you think you can make it home?” I immediately thought of Morgana’s questioning stare of him prodding me for answers. Of him seeing his leader frozen in fear. 

“We can sit here as long as you need.” He gave an imploring look to Takemi who nodded. 

She walked to the door twisting the lock. I saw the lock turn that malicious face turning back towards me some evil facsimile of a grin on his face. 

“Hey, leave it unlocked.” Sojiro’s voice floated back into my consciousness and I saw Takemi near the door to the clinic. She flicked the lock back. “Of course, I’ll be in my office.” I eyed her as she slowly made her way out of the room not closing the door behind her.

I stared back at Sojiro’s hand, his fingers were moving tracing small circles against the back of my hands. 

“Hey kid, look at me.” I traced up his form before slowly almost meeting his eyes. 

“It's kinda hot in here, isn’t it?” He groaned in a playful exaggerated way.”

The room was a little warm, it felt nice after the cold of the exam room. I could feel the air venting in from the ceiling tingling slightly across my skin. 

“Oh.” He perked up a little. “You know what I have, a customer gave them to me earlier and I forgot.” He pushed his free hand into his pocket and pulled out a handful of traditionally colored hard candies. 

“I think they’re lemon. Do you want to eat one? We can eat them together.” I watched him awkwardly unwrap it with one hand the other still clenched between mine. He showed me the yellow crystalline sphere before popping it in his mouth and unwrapping another to offer to me. 

“Don’t leave me to enjoy these things alone.” He prodded gently. 

I tried to prise my fingers from the grip I’d inflicted upon Sojiro’s hand but the joints were locked together. I struggled pitifully to move them before Sojiro took his free hand and took one of my hands in his. It felt like he'd snapped a little more life into them and he placed a candy orb in my hand before guiding it up to my mouth. It tasted very much like old candy, bitter and citrusy but only for a short time before your mouth got acclimated and it started to taste less like medicine and more like candy. It was sweet and good, the flavor buzzing on my tongue. The couch was hard and unforgiving beneath me, Sojiro’s hands were warm, the room, the lobby of Takemi’s medical practice, was lit with florescent bulbs that whined quietly. I was safe. 

  
  


We sat for a while before I’d calmed down enough to speak without the words being shaken with sobs.

“Are you okay now?”

“I feel better.”

“How about we go back to my place and you can relax there. It’ll be less busy than the cafe.”

“The cafe, you had to leave, because of me.”

“Hey now, there weren’t any customers in any way. It’s no bother, I promise.”

“Hey kid, can I give you a hug?” My brain stalled at the request. Had anyone ever asked to give me a hug before? The fact that I couldn’t remember the last time I’d been hugged, probably Ryuji but beyond that I had no idea, certainly said something about me that I didn’t want to hear.

I nodded slowly and Sojiro leaned in and hugged me. Sojiro wasn’t overly affectionate or at least tried to appear that way so it wasn’t a deep embrace but he squeezed my shoulders gently and I felt his hand pat lightly on my back before he leaned away. It was wonderful, something about a hug from an adult trying to comfort you, it was an alien thing to me. I didn’t have much experience with hugs from my parents, mostly half disapproving looks and quick handshakes if the circumstance warranted such a show of emotion. This feeling, I wondered if this was what most people felt when their parents hugged them. Sojiro cleared his throat purposely as he broke off the hug standing slowly.

“You ready to go?”

I nodded, standing with the ground once again solid beneath my feet.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i saw a tweet briefly talking about this a little but I can't remember it, so if that tweet was you this is for you ;p


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